Synergy [sin-er-jee] noun, plural: synergies
The interaction of elements that when combined produce a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual elements, contributions, etc.
I’m surrounded by people who are in love, people who have found their person, and I absolutely love it! Soulmate sounds cheesy to me, but person sounds equal, absolute, and free from definition. I decided to ask some of these loved-up people to share their love story – not when they first met their person (it’s cliché and mostly boring, and let’s face it – we’ve all heard it before!), but when they knew they had found their forever person.
From the best friend tick of approval, to being best friends first, to the crazy intense rush to taking a couple of decades, each of these stories are perfect and right, and special to the person that shared them. I’m obsessed with each of these stories and I’m incredibly grateful to each person who so honestly shared their “I knew I met my forever person when” story. Thank you!
I hope that these stories show that “it” – whether “it” is a moment, a realisation, a transition or a journey – can happen to anyone, anytime and anywhere regardless of gender, age, and background or relationship history.
the oyster blogger’s notes:
• Minor edits have been made to some stories in an effort to keep them close to 100 words – honouring each story and the story teller was the priority in this process.
• This, of course, is a lengthy post but I encourage you all to stick with it – these are all wonderful stories that deserve to be read. Plus I’ve saved my two favourites for last!
We said, “I love you” after six weeks of dating and that’s when I knew. Simple as that. Even though society made me feel it was it was young love – we were 18 and 19 years old at the time – that it couldn’t last, I became incredibly defiant. I realised that my relationship was just about me and the person I was in it with. I am smart enough, capable enough and financially able enough…I am enough, to be without Jeremy, but it would be like living with the air knocked out of my lungs, with every cell of my body missing something that it needs.
“Knowing” is not something you can mark off a checklist or even put into words. To me it is a shift, on a cellular level when your mind, body and soul has realised that they had been functioning at a certain frequency your entire life, until this person came along and kicked it up a notch. It’s like being able to breathe freely, yet feel glued together at the same time.
Lesley, 26, married to Jeremy, together for 8 years
I first knew that Lesley was the one when during a game of Marco Polo, my best friend Matt used Lesley as a human shield and threw her at me to make sure he didn’t get tagged.
Jeremy, 27, married to Lesley, together for 8 years
MJ and I were going out for about 20 months, like two peas in a pod. We were happy, but something was holding me back. My past experiences with partners did not work out and I thought they would leave, so I always had a plan B in case it wouldn’t work out. This way of thinking made it hard for MJ to fully commit to our relationship. It was only after I was able to let go of my baggage and honestly express to MJ that I was committed and here to stay, then we knew we were going to be together for the long haul.
Shalini, 39, married to MJ, together for 5 years, about to give birth to their first baby any day now!
I met my forever person when we were 16, on a school leadership camp. Looking back at photos, we were always next to each other. What sealed the deal was during the holidays, Matt rode his bike 20km each way to see me. During summer, he would collect me so we would ride together back to his place which had a pool. He would then cycle me back home to make sure I was okay, and then cycle back to his. So he took a 40km round trip to have me come over to his place and hang out.
Hazel, 28, married to Matt, together for 11 years
We were best friends for two years and somewhere in the middle we realised it was a bit more than a crush. We never acted on it or spoke about it. We then found ourselves single in the same week and decided to give it a go. We are so suited to each other. She loves being a housewife, and I love spoiling her with anything she wants. We have the exact same views on politics, we are both vegan, we can’t stand injustice and she is as spontaneous as me. Plus the sex rocks! We were only together about two months before I proposed. She’s perfect.
Stack, 26, engaged to Emily, together for 6 months
I married Doug after knowing him for nearly 20 years. We took the long way round, but we know we are each other’s forever.
Angelia, 38, married to Doug for 5 years, 3 children (from a previous relationship)
I don’t think there was a specific moment when I knew Ashley was ‘the one’. The important indicator in my relationship with her is that I feel comfortable being vulnerable with her, knowing that our support is reciprocal. There have been many instances where relatively mundane activities are enhanced because of her presence. One odd indicator for me is that prior to our relationship I have never been fully comfortable, fully able to engage, in a novel I am reading if there are other people in the room. Now, I get this same engagement when Ashley is present, as if she is an extension of myself.
James, 32, married to Ashley, together for 7 years
I think it stands out for me because for the time leading up to this point, I was always the struggler getting myself into unfortunate situations that he would need to bail me out of – until that one afternoon when he…let’s just put it down to an awkward bathroom moment! Long story short, I had to escape the situation to process everything, but then I realised, this time he needs me! So I went in there…we worked well as a team. It was after that, I was like yes!! You’re awkward too and we managed to get out of it together fairly unscathed. You are the one!
Kate, 24, in a relationship with Andrew for 3 years (names have been changed at the request of the contributor)
I used to think that ‘love-at-first-sight’ was for the hopelessly romantic. But the moment I first laid eyes on my (now) husband, my heart skipped a beat. I knew he was ‘the one’ when he picked me up from a holiday I had booked ‘pre-boyfriend’. After spending just seven days apart, it was that moment where it hit me – I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this man. There was nothing overly romantic about it like I had imagined – it was just a matter-of-fact moment where there, in the front seat of his red Proton Wira, I had found my soul mate.
Amy, 29, married to Alex, together for 10 years, 1 child
As we started dating, knowing I was leaving for Europe, we had an opportunity to get to know each other as friends and as ourselves not our just-started-dating-fake-and-polite selves. This allowed us to become really great friends before anything else, which is something I’d never had with any other guy I’d dated. The second I left for Europe we both knew we’d be together when I got back – so he met me in Turkey four months later, we travelled for a month and we’ve been together ever since!
We basically became a couple version of this!
Kestrelle, 26, in a relationship with Ben for 3 years
After our first date (breakfast, not dinner!), I knew Adam was different. We began a semi-long distance relationship. Shortly after we met I went on a pre-booked cruise. Before leaving, he left me a dozen red roses and a beautiful note saying he would miss me. I was miserable while I was away, and I missed him too – that’s when I realised that I loved him. When I got back I was about to tell him when he said he wanted to talk (my heart dropped, I thought the worst), but he said, “Heather, I’m in love with you”, and I told him a loved him too.
Heather, 31, married to Adam, together for 5 years
There was never a specific moment that I knew, it’s just a constant wave of being reminded. It’s never the big things, it’s those small little parts where you realise you love someone so much: when she know you’ve had a bad day, and has bought you some chips to make it easier; when you find that you never get tired of telling her about your day. It’s those little smiles that show everyone else what I knew straight away, that she’s beautiful. As someone who doesn’t trust easily, I can say I avoid those feelings of knowing after one moment, but Meg constantly reminds me every day with those little things.
Kyle, 25, in a relationship with Meg for 2 years
I knew Sam was `the one’ after we had been dating for seven months. He went on a cruise with his friends, and I had convinced myself that he would find someone new. The day he was due to return, I decided to work instead of going to the airport. What happened next was just like out of a movie. A co-worker said a guy was waiting to see me. My heart starting racing, I wanted to believe it was Sam. And there he was, with a smile on his face – I ran and threw myself at him, and gave him the biggest kiss. Everyone around us started cheering!
Susan, 50, married to Sam, together for 31 years, 4 children, 2 grandchildren
I can’t pinpoint an exact moment for me and Braden. However, it was a long-ish distance relationship, we both knew from the beginning that we were in it for a reason, otherwise it wouldn’t have been worth the effort. I think for me it got to a point where, like when you have a best friend or sibling, where there’s no misleading expectations or questions. I realised that I could trust him, tell him anything, encourage him and be encouraged by him. When it became evident that he truly cares about my wellbeing in life, I knew that I would benefit from having him with me.
Erin, 22, married to Braden, together for 4 years
Rowan was a good friend whom I had no attraction to so I was very taken aback when I thought that I might developing feelings for him. He was different to anyone I’d been dating or pursuing: a really good, kind person rather than the stereotypical bad-boy-footy-player. I knew Rowan was special when we went bushwalking together with a group of friends and I hadn’t had time to shave my legs – I just didn’t care…because I knew he wouldn’t care and it would make no difference to how he perceived me. It also helped that he was the first person in a long time that I was really proud to take home and introduce to my family.
Carrie, 32, married to Rowan, together for 7 years
I realised she was the person for me during our first weekend together. After managing to drag myself out of bed for a half-hour run in the freezing cold, I began to wonder whether I had dreamt the whole thing. As I miserably ran on, this fantasy-woman scenario started to feel disturbingly plausible. How could such a being have ended up in my bed, after all? By the time I arrived home coated with frosted sweat, reality and delusion seemed equally likely. When I opened my bedroom door to find her curled up asleep, I knew.
Tim, 35, in a relationship with Jodi for 3 months
After meeting Tom online, we soon worked out we had a lot in common. I realised he was my person after I fainted on a ghost tour date! He did not freak out or back off, instead he picked me up and held me. Since then things have moved quickly, however it feels like we’ve been together much longer as everything is so easy and nice! It doesn’t feel strange to be planning things 12 months to 5+ years down the track. It’s true when they say “when you know, you know”. I feel lucky to have finally found my person…and I’m all loved up!
Julia, 25, in a relationship with Tom for 4 months
After I initially met Brenda, we date for about three months. I was pretty sure I knew in the back of my mind that she was the one. The problem was I was only 19, none of my mates were dating and quite frankly I was having a great time with them, and just being, shall we say, lads. I could see the relationship was starting to get serious, and at the time it scared me so I broke up with her. It took me six months to realise I actually preferred spending time with her. The rest is history.
Paul, 53, married to Brenda, together for 34 years, 2 children
I met Paul at my friend’s 18th party. At the end of the night, Paul and his friends approached us, but we didn’t pay much attention – we had to leave because my friend’s parents were quite strict. The next night, my friends and I saw the boys again. I noticed Paul and thought he was cute. It was definitely lust at first sight, and I’d like to think love at first sight too. We started dating, but we broke up after three months because Paul wanted to hang out with his mates. But he soon came to his senses! I still think he’s cute and I couldn’t imagine life without him.
Brenda, 52, married to Paul, together for 34 years, 2 children
Thank you for reading these beautiful stories – if you’d like to share your Sunday Kind of Love story, I invite you to comment below.