Where are they? Where are all the “good men”? In the dating world they’re nowhere to be found. But in my daily life, they’re everywhere and I feel incredibly fortunate.
I’m regularly accused of being picky and high maintenance when it comes to dating. I disagree, it’s called having standards. (The classic comeback of someone who’s picky and high maintenance!) My standards are high, and I don’t feel like I should negotiate or apologise for them. Although, upon reflection I don’t really know what they are. It’s not like I have list that I cross reference when I’m looking at the “talent” on okcupid. But I do know, like (hopefully) all women, that I expect a man I date to be a Good Man. That’s code for “don’t be a massive jerk”, but of course it means so much more than that. A Good Man is not adequate, satisfactory or okay. A Good Man, to me, is a representation of all the men in my life, and that means the bar is set extremely high.
Without further ado, I dedicate this post to all the good men in my life.
Chris asked me to our Year 12 formal about a year before the event. I will never forget that, having your best mate ask you to go together to the most important night ever (well, it was back then!) More than thirteen years later, we are still friends. I challenge anyone to find a man who is more loyal and prouder of his family than Chris.
My friendship with Sam began with an Avril Lavigne concert, when we were in Year 11. It was all about winning over Maggie (it worked, I was bridesmaid at their wedding 8 years later!) It was from that concert that I got to call Sam my friend, and despite our different upbringings there has always been the greatest respect between us. What more can you ask for in a friendship?
Even though it crushed my soul, working at Big W was some of the most fun I’ve ever had in my life – and it was all because of Ben, Marty and Jeoff. To this day, Ben is one of my best friends. Even though we give each other the shits a lot the time, he’s always thought the world of me and is genuinely interested in my life. It’s something that’s reciprocated. Marty’s wedding to Vicky last year was a small affair, and I was lucky enough to be invited. I would not have missed it for the world, for the kindest man in the world. Jeoff has so many friends, he’s just that kind of man. When I was asked to co-MC his wedding to Marianna, it took me less than one second to yes. It was an honour to support such an honourable man.
I’ve borrowed the friendships of my sister’s best mates: Eric, Dan, Tim, Elliott, Zach and Siegmund. You are who you surround yourself with. My sister is a better person for these men being in her life, and I hope I am too.
I recently wrote about my sister’s wedding to Jeremy. There is no better couple, and there is no better man for my sister. Jeremy holds my sister on the pedestal she deserves, and I’m endlessly grateful to call him my brother.
And finally, the best man of them all, my dad. I don’t know where to begin. My dad is the best dad in the world, and the next best dad in the world is the first of the losers (as my dad would say). So I’m glad I don’t have a loser for a dad. He’s always encouraged me to be whoever and do whatever I wanted. I’ve felt nothing but love and pride from my dad my whole life, and life doesn’t get better than that.
Of course, there are a more. I have the best male friends, family and colleagues any one could ask for – those that have been in my life for years and years, those who have come into my life for a short period, and those who’ve been in my life for only for the past two years. I want them all to know that they wouldn’t be, or been in my life if I didn’t think they were Good Men. I don’t claim to have the magical measuring ruler of what a Good Man is or should be. And I’m not looking for perfection, there is no such thing.
So to the future man who’ll presumably remain in my life for an extended period (that’s called marriage right?!), the bar is set. Do you accept the challenge? Answer: if you’re the right man for me, it shouldn’t be one.